I Am D
by Junebugger
Summary: Daisuke's journal! Except Dark has scribble some comments too...
1. Chapter 1

I was at school, and I got bored, so I started writing. I don't know how Daisuke and Dark think,but this is just a little something for fun. Here goes:

My name is Daisuke Niwa, and I am fourteen years old. On my fourteenth birthday, something very strange happened to me--- I turned into another guy.

I admit, I'm weird like that. Heck, my whole family is weird. See, my family specializes in stealing art made by another unusual family, the Hikari. Every male in my family turns into Dark, my alter ego, when he turns fourteen and when he feels romantic. I was thinking about…well, you don't need to know what I was thinking about. Anyways, that day I was feeling romantic and I turned into Dark. Let me tell you what he is like…

Dark is usually a pain in the butt. He has saved my life several times, and I have helped him many times too, but he is still annoying. Imagine having another person blabbering in your head all the time. That's exactly what Dark does, unless he is sleeping. Then, he snores. I think he does that just to irritate me.

During school, we stay in my form to avoid getting in trouble with the girls. Unless, of course, I suddenly feel romantic. Then, when we transform, Dark usually goes to sleep and leaves me to deal with all the problems trnasforming causes. I've had many close calls.

At night, Dark takes over. We switch to his body and he takes control. Then he goes off, stealing some valuable piece of Hikari art or kissing some girls. I try very hard to prevent him, but sometimes I don't try very hard, especially if it is Risa he is kissing…wait, did I just say something? Forget it.

My life is very hectic, as you can tell. If we ever meet again, I will tell you about my very friendly enemy, Satoshi Hiwatari/Hikari, and his very unfriendly alter ego, Krad. Until then, bye. Hopefully, Dark won't do anything drastic…hey, hey, STOP IT!

* * *

Mwahahahaha! Guess who? This is the great and handsome Phantom Thief Dark! If Daisuke said I was a pain in the butt, then he is an even bigger pain, since he was the one who gave me the idea of droning into his head every second of the day. See, he is yelling at me now... maybe I'll try that tomorrow during his exam... 

Good, he has finally shut up. He needs the rest, since tomorrow, I'm going to steal some very very very VERY valuable painting by...that's right, the Hikari's. That painting is locked in a chest with ten different keys every night, then placed in a vault, guarded by electromagnetic pressure locks, guards with laser guns, and motion detecting cameras, along with a very twisted dude called Krad. Who is that, you ask? Man, Daisuke has left out so many details.

Daisuke has a friend named Satoshi Hikari. I mean, Hiwatari. Personally, I would like to stuff his head down some toilet, but Daisuke would probably kill me if I did. I don't understand why, though, since Hiwatari's alter ego, Krad, is OUT TO GET ME. And, he's good at it too. Not that he has ever succeeded. No one can catch me, the greatest thief in the world!

Wish me luck tomorrow, not that I need any. Okay, okay, Daisuke, I'll leave, and let's go to sleep...SNORE...SNORE...SNORE...


	2. Chapter 2

Another boring day at school, another D N Angel chapter! Let's start:

Heh heh, another daring theft by the brilliant thief Dark, complete with a battle against that fluffed-up dunderhead of an angel. Of course, he didn't catch me. No one can! But, damn, I'm tired. Hey, Daisuke, good night…zzzzz…

* * *

Hello…Dark is tired, and I am tired. Mostly, I'm exhausted from keeping Dark out of serious trouble. We went to steal a painting today, and many, many things happened. 

First of all, we met up with Satoshi Hiwatari (who is in charge of capturing Dark and protecting his own family's art, did I tell you?) and Dark had to taunt him about ME, of all people. Then, for some strange reason, Satoshi transformed into his alter ego Krad. If the trigger for the Hikari's is the same as the Niwa's…ahem, ahem, don't go there. He started going after Dark with magical blasts, but not before Dark nabbed the painting. I think Dark lost about a million black feathers that night. But doesn't he have an infinite supply of feathers?

Well, Dark decided then and there that he wanted to steal the cross-thing on Krad's ponytail, and I managed to persuade him to settle for Satoshi's glasses. Krad got really riled up about that, so he smashed his tamer's glasses with an extra-large bang. Then he ran out of energy and fell. Satoshi is not going to feel well tomorrow.

After that, Dark went to visit Risa. But, I was yelling at him the whole time, so the meeting was short.

I'm going to give the frames back to Satoshi tomorrow, and possibly blame it on Dark…but it really wasn't his fault. I should have stopped him. Oh, well, what's done is done.

My mother is coming up the stairs with warm milk now… gotta go. See you later.


	3. Chapter 3

This chapter kind of reflects what my life feels like right now. I seriously need to relax and let out some stress. Oh, well, here goes:

I'm so confused today. At school, I had to learn algebra. Something about x to the power of 2 minus the square of some other number equals x minus the number times the sum of x and that number again. Go figure.

I am trying, I really am, but SOMEONE kept me awake all last night with his loud snoring. So, I have a terrible headache.

Added to that is Dark trying to help me understand it. That's unusually nice of him, but he's including so much extra information, I can't concentrate. Does algebra have anything to do with the math genius Niwa who live hundreds of years ago? Does algebra have to do with that new number/gravity lock that's supposedly Dark-proof? Sigh. One third of my brain is listening.

Another third of my brain is listening to Satoshi tutoring me. He graduated from college when he was thirteen, so he knows all this stuff and more. But then, he's not the type to make it interesting. So, he's just droning on and on and on…

The last third of my brain is frozen in shock at how Satoshi had reacted when I gave back his frames.

I ran up to him as soon as I got to school and handed them to him. He stared at the black frames for a bit.

"What did you do to my glasses?" His voice was pure Satoshi: calm, cool, and deliberate, with just a little ice/fire mixing in it. But for once, he sounded a little angry. He scares me to death sometimes. I backed away. "I...I didn't do anything..."

"Daisuke..." He stood up and took a step forward. I took a step back. He took another step forward.

A step back...

A step forward...

A step back...

A step forward...

Then my foot banged against the wall, and I couldn't back away any more.

Gulp.

"Daisuke..." he whispered, again, then leaned forward.

AHHHH! I squeezed my eyes shut.

"Thank you."

* * *

I can't believe it. Daisuke just stood there like a half-dead, frozen snowman at the north pole, while his most formidable foe whispered in his ear. ARGH! I can't stand it.

Hey, I just got a wonderful plan.

MWHAHAHA!


	4. Chapter 4

Christmas is here! There's cheer in the air! And, Dark's evil plot is about to be unveiled! I really can't believe that I wrote this. But...R&R, and enjoy!

* * *

_I'm not sorry for what I did. Satoshi deserved_ _it. He bit me._

He DESERVED it! OMG, Dark, you must be kidding.

_Nope._

Argh...and now I have detention...

_You don't have to go._

AHHH! JUST GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE WILL YOU?

_...sure..._

...umm...

_...what?..._

...um...sorry Dark, I'm just not in a good mood.

_It's ok...well, good night._

'Night._

* * *

_

He really did it. I thought it was all talk. I thought he might chicken out. But, Dark NEVER chickens out. Somehow he 'persuaded' me to relinquish control. Then, using MY body he walked up to Satoshi and asked him for a moment outside.

"Sure."Satoshi said, and led me...well, Dark...outside, into the hall. And then, Dark immediately grabbed him, slung him over his shoulder, and made off... not toward the LEFT, where the boys' restroom was, but to the RIGHT. That's when Satoshi bit Dark...I mean, me.

Uh oh.

He pushed open the door, and I screamed silently. _Nooooo..._

Dark grabbed his victim's ankles and dunked him into the toilet. I freaked out and started yelling at him.

"Glub glub," Satoshi went.

_Are you ready, Daisuke?_

"What...!" Dark handed control back to me, and I screamed and dropped Satoshi.

Which brought a bunch of girls running. They screamed.

Which brought a bunch of teachers running. They screamed too.

Finally, someone stopped screaming long enough to call the police. But the head of police happened to be Satoshi, who was sitting in the girl's bathroom, dazed, but sane enough to glare at me. Brr...

It was BIG mess.


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry, I've been busy. I can't believe how irregular my updates are. Anyways, I finally got around to writing this. Poor Daisuke! (chuckles evily) Here goes:

* * *

Yuck. Ew. Nasty, disgusting, and totally revolting. There was a food fight during lunch. A very big one that was started partially by me. I got grounded, and I'm also covered with eggs, cheese, carrots, tomatoes, and gum. Gum, for heaven's sake, who eats gum for lunch? 

This really isn't fair. All I was doing was minding my own business. Then Takeshi, a friend of mine,came and threw a tomato at me. Satoshi was watching, so I couldn't dodge! Splat.

"It matches your hair nicely!" he crowed, and threw another tomato. Sigh.

* * *

Poor, poor Daisuke. He wouldn't accept my offer to help dodge every single thing thrown at him. I would never have gotten so covered with muck! 

But then, if he had dodged, all the food would have hit Riku. Yep, he was protecting his girlfriend, Riku, not his former crush, Risa. Satoshi was doing that part. Hmm, is he starting to have "feelings" for MY sacred maiden? Grr. He better not be trying to steal from the Great Phantom Theif. Not that he'll succeed. Smirk.

Anyways, I'm going to start describing the food fight in EXCRUCIATING detail. All just for you, Daisuke!

Dai dodged the second tomato, maybe from instinct, since he was so shocked by the first one. It hit Risa, who squealed and slapped at Takeshi, but missed. Instead, she hit Dai. Poor kid. He fell into the "Tough Guy Table."

"Dude! Watch watcha doin' fu' !" Tough Guys these days are just like Tough Guys300 years ago, except back in the good old days, they would have pulled out swords and challenged each other to duels. The modern Tough Guys merely chucked everything they were eating at variouspeople. TheVarious People got mad and chucked food back, but mostly missed and ended up hitting some other people, who in turn started throwing their food and missed and...yeah, you get the picture.

Poor dopey Daisuke was a prime target. Or maybe he purposely threw himself in the way to save other people. Who knows. As I said, I offered to help, but noooo, he had to act all chivalrious and go save Miss Riku.

Daisuke's overactive imagination:

_"Here, Miss Riku, you stay in this corner. I swear I'll protect you!" _

_"Oh, Daisuke, sweetie, you are so brave! You are my knight in shining armor!"_

_"Oh, Miss Riku, you know I would do anything for you! I'd even get hitby this moldy cheese just to protect you!"_

_"Thank you, dear! You are my hero!"_

Back to reality. Oh, wait, I gotta go. Seeya.

* * *

_Daisuke! Hurry and get that carrot out of your ear! The Phantom Theif doesn't look cool like that!_

What? But we aren't changing into you tonight...are we?

_Yes we are! I want to steal the Statue of Liberty!_

DARK!

_Just kidding. I'm only going to steal a few kisses from Risa. Maybe a few more from Riku too._

DARKKKKKKKKK!

_Fine, geez. Tonight we are stealing "The Dark Moon Dances" by some Hikari or another. Let's go!_

Wait! I still have tomatoes in my hair!

_They match so well, no one can see them! We are late! Good bye!_


	6. Chapter 6

Please don't kill me! I'm so sorry about how long I haven't updated. But now, finally, the 6th chapter is here!

* * *

I'm sick. I mean, I'm REALLY sick. I've been stuck in bed for 24 hours now, and I've been puking up green stuff. At least I don't have the Krad-virus as bad as Dark does. I saw BLUE stuff coming out of his mouth a few minutes ago. But, we share the same mouth, so... 

Oh, yes, the Krad-virus. Remember _The Dark Moon Dances_? Dark went to steal it, remember? Well, Krad met us there, and, cackling evily, he told us,

"See the glass bottle over there? Touch the painting...and that bottle will break...spilling microscopic biomass all over you."

Dark scratched his head. "Spilling whatamijiggy? Muck a scoop of big ass? That doesn't make sense! But, well Krad, hate to break it to you, buddy, but you do have a big butt." Dark smirked.

Krad slowly turned beet red. "How do you know?"

"I've seen it, duh...oh, sorry Daisuke, excuse me for my dirty mindedness."

I brushed it off, too freaked out by the microscopic biomass. It sounded really fancy and mad scientist-like. Of course, I wouldn't be too surprised if Krad's hobby turned out to be acting like a mad scientist and trying to construct Frankensteins.

Krad jumped up and flew about 50 feet into the air. "Dark, for your simple mind, that bottle contains germs."

"Yeah, whatever. What matters is that I'm going to steal the painting! So there."

Typical of Dark. I warily watched him reach out and lightly touch the painting's rim. Nothing happened. He slowly spread his fingers out, so that his wholepalm rested flat on the frame. Nothing happened. He edged his hand closer and closer to the actual painting, then with a sudden movement, grabbed the painting, pulling it off the wall. Alarms went off, and policemen (and policewomen. Mostly women.) swarmed in. But Dark was already gone.

Behind the musuem, Dark preened and inspected himself and the painting. There was nothing out of the ordinary.

"Um, Krad, the scoop of ass didn't work." he said suddenly. I turned my invisible eye around, surprised. I hadn't even seen Krad, who was slowly descending on his glowing, white wings. He brushed a golden strand of hair from his eyes, and acted surprised.

He golden eyes widened. "Why, but Dark! Didn't Iwarn you? I thought I did, but," he spread his hands out, palms up. " I suppose it just slipped my mind. The bottle is specially sealed to pop open silently, so youwill notnotice. The biomass --- or germs --- inside is invisible, and attacks your immune system silently. Hm... you should start throwing up...right...about...now."

Dark gagged. Out from his mouth, a pink liquid spewed out...all over Krad. Poor guy.He smelled really bad, too.


End file.
